Mummies Wrap Up Ninth Game

[Midtime]

Well, folks, it's that time once again! Time for TDN's latest AC X report! This is Brooke, reporting from.... I'm not sure exactly. My sleep schedule is terrible and I'm a little disoriented. I know I'm in a studio, I'm just not sure which one. But the camera works!

[Brooke indicates a remote control on the desk, before apparently completely losing her train of thought and staring off into space for an extended period. Suddenly, the sound of a superhero show theme breaks the silence and pulls the reporter from her apparent daze. Panicked, she dives beneath the desk and produces a large purple purse, through which she hastily rummages. Several strange items emerge from the purse, including several candy bars, two full-sized bottles of pop, and a stuffed Kau, her cell phone still ringing all the while. Finally, the phone is found and Brooke answers it.]

Yes, this is Brooke, hi, hello! How can I-

Yes, I know.

No, I'm not reall-

But I-

Yes, ma'am.

[The reporter hangs up her cell phone, then casually shoves all her belongings off the desk.]

It would appear I've gone missing somehow. I guess it wouldn't be a TDN report if someone wasn't missing. So while I wait for the crew to find me, I might as well get to work.

So... here's the Alabracket! Erm... Alabriss bracket.

The uh... what are they called? The team from the Lost Desert.... The Mummies! Right. The Mummies have now had eight sweeps out of nine days of play, which is kind of impressive. So good job, Lost Desert! I'm sure Shenkuu did a good job as well, but unfortunately the Ninjas just couldn't handle the Mummies' mad moves. Wow, that sounded lame, and I apologize. I really ought to get more sleep. Uh... hold on.

[Brooke scoops one of the pop bottles off the floor, opens it, and is promptly showered in a sticky stream of foamy soda. She blinks for a moment, wipes at her glasses and her notes with a sleeve, then takes a swig of what's left in the bottle.]

Ah, much better.

Anyway, the Fossils fiercely forced the Pirates to succumb to their sweep streak. This makes four in a row for Tyrannia! They have been a formidable group this year, crushing some impressive teams under their thumbs. The only team they've fallen to has been Kiko Lake! Krawk Island has had a little more trouble gaining traction this year, managing just two sweeps so far. At least I think it's two. It would appear the ink on my notes has begun to run. Better wrap this up fast!

Last but not least, the Darigan Citadel went up against Haunted Woods, and it was a really close thing, but ultimately the Minions swept the Zombies. And that's it for the bracket! Now over to Minitime. Uh. Minitheus bracket. Midtime. Bye.

"Thank you, Brooke, for delivering your segment of the broadcast despite... having... disappeared. As I am unsure whether to be pleased at your dedication or worried about your priorities, I will instead remind myself that I am under no obligation to remain grounded in reality, either. Here are the Minitheus results.

"Now, the first match of the bracket has perhaps been the most exciting: underdog team Moltara narrowly lost to the ever cheerful yet ever earnest Faeries. The Faeries have been striving all season to better their previous records, and their Yooyuball victory today marks another impressive milestone for them. The Magmas, meanwhile, took the majority of the side categories with them: their shootout scores and fan enthusiasm gave them something to write home about today. While the futures of both these teams, much like Brooke's current location, remain uncertain, we can be sure that all three will have working cameras in close proximity, an immeasurable benefit to interested professionals.

"The Moons have regained their footing after yesterday's losses to score another sweep, this time against the Brightvale Wizards. Although the disparity between the teams' performance this year is great, the Wizards came surprisingly close in the slushie category, leading many commentators to question why a team's Yooyuball performance usually correlates so closely with the popularity of refreshments made by a distantly associated drinks company. I, of course, am not one of them, though in the spirit of statistical inquiry, I can testify that taking sips alternately from two different slushie cups reliably results in brain freeze.

"Finally, Kiko Lake have secured yet another astounding victory for themselves, sweeping Meridell cleanly off the scoreboard and maintaining their unblemished record. This marks the Knight's first loss of the season, a matter of some notice if not much surprise; they still stand at fourth overall, and will have many more chances to break into the top three and earn their place on the podium. Meridell captain "Wizard" Windelle told reporters, 'We will not be discouraged; we are as stony as the sky is grey,' before looking up, noticing the absence of clouds, and making a gesture of slight embarrassment. 'That hardly ever fails in Meridell,' he explained.

"That is all for the Minitheus bracket! I presume Matt will attend to the Vaeolus Bracket, now, although I can't be sure, as I am still avoiding him after the broom closet incident and our only point of indirect contact is now missing. I will trust the fate of the broadcast to our station's mediocre planning skills and terrible luck, and wander off to find a bin for this empty slushie container."

[The broadcast displays empty space for several seconds after Midtime leaves, before switching to Matt in the studio.]

Thank you Midtime, now let's take a look at the results from the Vaeolus Bracket matches. To start off the bracket, the Chillers were able to sweep the Rooligans relatively easy in today's matchup. Known for their prowess in Make Some Noise, fans of the Chillers did not disappoint in today's matchup as they were able to drown out the Rooligans with their cheers, doubling the Rooligans' score.

In the Maraqua versus Altador matchup today, the Mermaids were able to obtain a clean side sweep against the Suns. However, the Suns were able to force a draw in Yooyuball, proving that even a slight sliver of sunlight can make it through to the lowest depths of an ocean. Although both teams face difficult opponents in today's matches, they remain optimistic. Right Forward for the Altador Suns, Foltaggio said that the Suns will trust in their abilities and prove that underdog teams are capable of rising to greatness. In a true struggle for success story, will the Suns be able to defy odds once again in their matchup against the Natives?

Wrapping up the Vaeolus Bracket we have the Mystery Island versus Virtupets match. Similar to the Altador matchup, Virtupets was able to defy all odds and take the victory in Slushie Slinger. An especially surprising outcome considering that Yooyuball rather than the side games have been the Robots' strength throughout this Cup. Once again, Virtupets demonstrates why they are truly an unpredictable team. As for the rest of the results, the Natives were able to take the remaining games in a close series. In a fight to move out of their current sixth place bracket position, will the Robots be able to overtake the Natives?

There are an abundance of interesting matchups today with unpredictable results! First, let's take a look at the match between Brightvale and Moltara. This is a rematch for the two teams, and the Wizards are hoping to complete their unfinished business by sweeping the Magmas. However, the Magmas will aim towards gaining a victory in Make Some Noise to prevent the sweep. Our final matchup is between two long time rivals in this Cup, Darigan Citadel and Krawk Island. Although both are powerhouse teams, they've recently been overshadowed by other teams on the rise in this year's Cup. Both teams are evenly matched for today. Which team will be able to come out on top?

That wraps up today's report! This is Matt signing off.

Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).

[voteforpedro333]

Hmm, might Brooke be a reporter by day and superhero by night? Might there be epic crime happening in Altador that we don't know about? Perhaps we will never know...get her some caffeine in the meantime!