Captain Windelle Warns: Wizards Were 'Woefully Weak in Windelle Wisdom'

[Midtime]

 

Hello again, my friends, and welcome back to The Daily Neopets, where we bring you the newest scoop, with fun pictures that are sometimes even relevant! I'm Brooke and sweet Fyora is it hot. And I promise, it's not just me.

 

[Brooke winks at the camera. She shuffles her notes and prepares to go on, but a man in a headset runs onscreen, whispers something in her ear, then bids a hasty retreat.]

 

*sigh* I've just been informed that my previous comment and accompanying facial gesture were, in fact, inappropriate. My apologies. I just can't win, can I?

 

Anyway, moving on. Let's look at the results of the Alabriss bracket.

 

Today the Lost Desert continued their impressive sweep-streak (sullied only once, by Kreludor) as they took the Haunted Woods for a wild ride. The Zombies have not yet achieved a single shutout, and in fact have not had a win since day three. The Mummies' right defender, Rhee Solters, was spotted outside the arena consoling a rather dejected-looking Zo Junior, centre forward for the Haunted Woods, in a display of heart-warming sportsmanship. There seems to be a lot of good will going around this year!

 

Next up, Pirates versus Ninjas was the name of the game, in a series of incredibly close matches. Krawk Island fought hardest on the Yooyuball field, and their fans cheered the loudest today, and although Shenkuu struggled valiantly as they slung slushies and... shot out... showdowns? Erm... the remaining two events ended in a draw.

 

In the last round of the bracket, the brooms were back! Tyrannia is off to a great start this bracket with their second sweep in as many days. The Darigan Citadel, however, is having precisely the opposite level of success this bracket. They've brought their scores up a bit since the games started, but as they face increasingly strong teams, they're having more and more trouble standing up to the challenge. But as we've all seen over the years, things could change at the drop of a hat!

 

Speaking of dropping hats, let's turn things over to my esteemed colleague, Midtime, for the Minitheus bracket!

 

[To someone offscreen:] What?? I don't know what I meant by that, okay? Segues are hard!

 

"Thank you, Brooke! As luck would have it, I do indeed appear to have dropped my hat. As I have no idea where it could have gone and am now susceptible to mind-control attempts via brain-wave, I'll try to finish up the Minitheus results quickly. Hopefully no one's stepped on it by the time I find it.

 

"First, the Kikos continued their prodigious work today in their match against Moltara. Once again their incredible offensive play crushed all opposition, and once again they dominated the side events, scoring themselves yet another complete victory. Although we are now well into the season, fan turnout for the Kikos' matches has not diminished in the least: supporters from the Lake, many of whom have clearly never been to Altador before, have become commonplace in the tourist strips that surround the Colosseum, all eager to see their beloved national team finally receiving the attention they have always felt it deserves, although I am currently staring at the astral projection of one young woman who is at present far more excited about the fan-exclusive slushie discounts."

 

[The reporter blinks, and rubs their eyes.]

 

"I do need my hat; I miss it already. Er, where was I? Upside-down in a large dustbin headed for an incinerator about two blocks down Iter Librata, I think, or something like that.

 

"The Kreludor Moons seem to have bounced back from their recent loss, pulling ahead in a very close Yooyuball match to sweep the Faeries soundly. Captain Kakoni Worrill of Faerieland addressed supporters after the match, describing the game as 'one of the best learning experiences we've had this season', and displaying his usual infectious optimism towards the team's future. Ealyn Hawkshanks of the Moons fielded questions in a separate event: when asked how he felt about the rematch against the Kikos tomorrow, he simply responded, 'We're always ready for another go.' This was also his response to a question about the team's attitude towards ice-cream, much to the delight of fans.

 

"Finally, Team Meridell came out on top against the Brightvale Wizards, their neighbours at home. Brightvale forward Hireck's superb performance in the penalty shootouts made the game a close one, and that area of the match was awarded in their favour, but thanks to Ballos-Meuler's brand new Intergalactic Nail Polish! Available for order in your nearest Sloth Perishables outlet-"

 

[The reporter shakes their head vigorously.]

 

"Hat. Er, thanks to Meridell Captain Windelle's brilliant running plays and an excellent last-second save by Obbles, the victory did indeed fall on the side of the Knights. Team Brightvale seem collectively determined not to dwell on their recent losses, and have taken to the practice field to prepare for tomorrow's match against the Faeries.

 

"I've got to go find my hat now. Go to- go to Matt, now, if you please. He will bow now before your Meepit overlords or get a one-time exemption for the low, low price of nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine the Vaeolus Bracket. Pax vobiscum, abolish telepathic spam, and all the other valedictions. Um. Goodbye!"

 

[The reporter can be briefly seen dashing away with a silver umbrella clutched in one hand; then the feed switches back to Matt at the studio.]

 

Brooms were everywhere in today's matches, and the Vaeolus Bracket was no exception! With two sweeps, and one near sweep, it was either go hard or go home today. Of course teams still have a few weeks of matches to complete before they can actually go home, but that's beside the point!

 

Diving into the Vaeolus Bracket, the Maraquan Mermaids and the Mystery Island Natives clashed on the battlefield today. The Mermaids were able to sink the Natives' hopes for a victory today by dominating the side games. The Natives were able to redeem themselves by forcing Yooyuball to end in a draw, barely surviving being swept by the Mermaids. The Mermaids are in high spirits as they face off against the Rooligans today, while the Natives are up against yet another tough opponent, Terror Mountain.

 

Roo Island and Terror Mountain faced off against Altador and Virtupets respectively. Both Roo Island and Terror Mountain were able to dominate in the side games, while scores in Yooyuball showed that the Suns and Robots didn't go down without a fight. The losers of both matches are facing each other today, so it'll be interesting to see which team can finally earn some wins in this bracket.

 

Moving on to our interesting matches for the day, Darigan Citadel and Shenkuu will be facing off on the field today. Shenkuu has been performing very well in Slushie Slinger and Shootout Showdown. Will the Ninjas be able to take those two side games from the Minions? Meridell and Faerieland will also be butting heads on the field today. Although Meridell is predicted to side-sweep the Faeries, will the underdog team be able to pull off a victory in Yooyuball?

 

Find out the answers to those questions and more in tomorrow's report. As for now, this is Matt, live from the studio signing off.

 

 

Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).