Midtime Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 HEAR YE, HEAR YE! Come one, come all, and hear the news! Seriously, guys, this hot scoop is going to blow your mind. Are you ready? Are you sure? Here it is! Day three of the Altador Cup has successfully come to a close, and we have received not a single report of anyone getting hit in the face with a stray slushie! Pretty cool, huh? ....no? Ooookay, moving on then. Uhh... the report. Right. This is Brooke, reporting once again for The Daily Neopets, this time coming to you from a (hopefully) sturdy tree branch in the loveliest sunny spot not far from the stadium. I was feeling a bit squirrely sitting around the stadium all day. Get it? "Squirrely"? I- hold on a second. I'm getting a message from the boss. [There is a rather awkward silence for a couple of minutes as the reporter presses a finger to her ear and listens, punctuated occasionally by the odd "uh-huh" and "yes, ma'am".] I apologize for the delay, friends. It would appear we've received several viewer complains regarding my... alleged sense of humour. I've been informed that I don't actually have one, and had better just stick to the results. So. I guess I'd better tell you about the Alabriss bracket. Krawk Island and Roo Island went up against each other today in the first Alabriss match so far to not result in a sweep. The Pirates had a slight advantage today as they took the main event as well as Shootout Showdown, whereas the Rooligans only took one side game. When it came to slushie slinging, the teams found themselves evenly qualified, resulting in a draw. The Pirates threw a particularly energetic party this evening to celebrate the abrupt end of their potentially deadly sweep-streak. Next up, Maraqua and Lost Desert faced off for the second day in a row, and though the Mermaids redoubled their efforts and managed to bring up their score in Yooyuball, the Mummies buckled down and held their own, resulting in wins across the board. The Lost Desert team has managed a sweep every day so far, and will be looking to keep it up. The Mermaids, on the other hand, will be working to prove their first sweep was no swan song. In the final match of the Alabriss bracket, Kreludor and Moltara took to the battlefield. The Moons' scores were a bit lower than those of the first two days, but still good enough to land them their third sweep in as many days. The Magmas, on the other hand, have been on the receiving end of three sweeps in a row, and will be putting their collective noses to the proverbial grindstone to come back from this discouraging start. Now I'll be turning things over to Midtime for the Minitheus bracket. I bet he's still allowed to make jokes... "Mm-hm - yes - understood. No, ma'am. I wouldn't dream of it. I will do my best. Absolutely, ma'am. I didn't - no more jokes about Faerieland, ma'am. Not even accidental ones. No, ma'am." [The reporter glances at the camera, then panics.] "Oh - we're on, we're on! Um - I am afraid we will have to continue this conversation at a later point and greetings, dear listeners! The Minitheus bracket has been the site of much Yooyuball and excitement thereover, recently as always, um, and I would be glad to detail it for you. I will - I will do that right now. Yes. "Today's repeat matchup, Darigan Citadel against Virtupets, brought about a sound sweep on the part of the Minions - their best showing so far. Comments were numerous concerning the team's extraordinary game-sense and technical accomplishment. If it has previously been said that their strength is in discipline and determination, here is the finest proof that could be furnished for the claim. At the same time, off the field, the members of Team Darigan are exuberant, and have announced they will be attending the scheduled fan-meet later this evening. It promises to be a lively event. "Meanwhile, Faerieland's own contended to a standstill with the Knights, who are currently the leading team of the bracket. The match was climactic: few audiences at the Colosseum today were half so rapt as those who turned up to watch Meridell and Faerieland, and the uproar that occurred when the referee brought the match to its conclusion might be exceeded only by the uproar that occurred when it was declared, at last, that the victory should be awarded to Meridell, on the basis of penalty scores. For my own part, I could not have imagined that the voice of a crowd, however immoderate, might put me so in mind of the frequent explosions of last season. [The reporter's expression briefly glazes over.] "Er. Lastly, Team Altador played a truly remarkable game against Shenkuu, pushing past their iron defence to secure a victory for themselves in the final few minutes. While they were still outdone in auxiliary performance, the Suns had no qualms about celebrating their first Yooyuball win of the season - the first, they hope, of many to come. The Ninjas have thus far maintained an excellent side-game streak, but with such fierce competition in the central event, they will be pressured to redouble their efforts in games to come. "That does for the Minitheus bracket! Thank you for watching this report. I will pass you on to Matt, now, for a summary of the final bracket delivered in the utter absence of humour or levity. [The reporter turns to someone off-camera just before the feed switches.] "Or, as I might call it, a boredca-" Yes, thank you Midtime! Hello everyone, I'll be presenting the results of the Vaeolus Bracket to you all once again. As usual let's dive straight into the results. The front-runners of the Vaeolus Bracket, Tyrannia and Kiko Lake, clashed on the field today. The Kikos left nothing to chance today as they swept the Fossils in a dominating fashion, smashing their Make Some Noise record with an impressive score of thirty-one! Both teams are not only frontrunners to win the Vaeolus Bracket, but also frontrunners for the podium. An impressive showing by both teams; will anybody be able to stop the Kikos? For our next matchup of the day, Terror Mountain and Mystery Island went head to head today, and the Chillers were dominant from the very start. Terror Mountain's 3+1 formation helped the Chillers take the lead from the beginning of the match and maintain it throughout the entire match. Terror Mountain's fans were so loud that their voices could cause an avalanche! The Natives will be facing off against the Kikos today; a difficult match lies ahead of the Natives. To wrap up the Vaeolus Bracket, the matchup between Haunted Woods and Brightvale gave the bracket a little variety in today's matchups. The only match that did not end in a sweep, the Wizards yooyu-slinging skills were right on the mark today as they were able to take Yooyuball and Shootout Showdown from the Zombies. Although undead, the Zombies' fans were not to be outdone as they were able to take the victory in Make Some Noise, and slushies were flying out of the Zombies' test like mad, giving Haunted Woods the victory in Slushie Slinger. Haunted Woods certainly has fallen after their victory last Cup, but one fan comes to their defense stating that, "Haunted Woods' full potential has not been awakened yet, and when it does, the other teams will be quivering with fear!" Fans of the tournament will definitely be watching how profound of an effect the "winner's curse" will have on the Zombies. Continuing onto the interesting matches of the day, many fans will be flocking to watch the match between Krawk Island and Roo Island. Although it may be a rematch, fans will be eager to see how Captains Garvin Hale of Krawk Island and Lilo Blumario of Roo Island will readjust their team's strategies after playing with each other once already. Will Krawk Island be able to sweep the Rooligans? Or will the Rooligans be able to foil the Pirates' plans? Find out tomorrow! This concludes today's report! On behalf of Brooke, Midtime, and the rest of our Altador Cup coverage staff here at TDN, this is Matt signing off. Until tomorrow everyone. Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 :)I wanted to "like this", but I can't (daily quotas are such a pain!). I had fun reading this, thank you for this great report! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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