~Xandria Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Hi everyone! I don't know if this thread will even get popular or not - BUT... I thought it might be a cool thread to post funny jokes/stories here that we could share with each other. (So obviously they need to be clean jokes, but that goes without saying, right?) :P Anyways, I will be posting in this topic as often as possible. (Just random jokes I've found off the internet that I think are worth sharing!) Sometimes when you're in a bad mood, you really just need a good laugh. Please feel free to add your own jokes/short funny stories to this thread! HERE GOES: Rupert and Elaine, a young couple, got married and went happily on there honeymoon. When they got back Elaine immediately phoned her mother and her mother obviously asked, "How was the honeymoon, dearest?" "Oh Ma!" She replied, "the honeymoon was beautiful... so romantic.." Then Elaine burst out crying. "But Ma, as soon as we returned home Rupert started using the most ghastly language, saying things I've never heard before! I mean, all these awful four letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... Please Ma." "Calm down, Elaine! said her mother, "Tell me what could be so awful? What four letter words?" Still sobbing, Elaine whispered "Oh Ma... words like dust, wash, cook and iron. :D :D :D :D :D I guess I just found that joke so funny, because it sounds like something I would freak out about! :hmmph: POOR GIRL! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazrandus Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Ahh poor Elaine xD Hey I've got one from Wikipedia: A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons.'Why?' asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. 'Well, I'm a panda,' he says, at the door. 'Look it up.' The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. 'Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duke_Sloth Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 What do you call a singer with a biscuit on his head? Lionel Rich Tea.... :laughingsmiley: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khaos Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck. tazrandus 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tazrandus Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 What do you do if fierce peophins has eaten too much tin of olives? You feed them Flat-u-less Tablets Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karmacow Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Tazrabdus, that was perfect :D Anti-joke chicken FTW! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cleomiele Posted September 30, 2012 Share Posted September 30, 2012 Why couldn't Beethoven find his composition teacher? Because he was Haydn! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saxen Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 I watched a Bill Hicks interview last night and found this hilarious... other people might not XP What do you call a Jazz musician without a girlfriend? Homeless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karmacow Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 Bill Hicks was amazing. I have a little crush on him as he was, even though I didn't know about him before he died. Saxen 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saxen Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 Bill Hicks was amazing. I have a little crush on him as he was, even though I didn't know about him before he died. Me too!! He reminds me of Kevin Spacey slightly, who I found myself adoring through K-Pax :P Such an unbelievable tragedy that he's gone :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingeevee Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 Here's an old one that my cousins still love (we're all Mexicans): What do you call a Mexican with a Rubber Toe? -Roberto xD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khaos Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 Rebecca Black walks into a bar.. and gets shot. The end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyler. Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 ^ok that was a little harsh A moose walks in to a store. He asks the cashier "Where's the apple juice?" The cashier replies "aisle 3" the moose goes to aisle three and there's grape juice. that was funny. Laugh karmacow 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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