Mini-Chan Posted March 8, 2007 Share Posted March 8, 2007 I just made this poem, for my mom! It's a tribute poem! We're doing them for English class! so I decided to post it here :] A life to live, a life to adore, A gift from my mother, Just for me. My existence is meaning, I know that’s the truth. Mother, dear mother, I thank you so much, Every time I’m queasy, You’re always there by my side. The things you’ve taught me, Like looking at life positively, I cherish to heart. Your radiant smile, My sun, day and night, Always there to cheer me up, On my days of despair. The one I admire, My shining moonlit star, To guide me along, On the journey of life. its not that good cuz im still a beginner X3 please tell me whatchas think about it! that way i can improve :] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dillon Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 I think it is really good. but as always there is room for improvement. Where I dont know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannah Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 It's good... but in my opinion it would be better if it rhymed. But Im like that with most poems XD 6/10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 I have the same comments as Hannah but the content is really good. I am actually slightly moved. :yes: Nice poem overall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mini-Chan Posted March 10, 2007 Author Share Posted March 10, 2007 thanks :] see, my english teacher was like, 'YOU DON'T HAVE TO RHYME!' i tried to make most parts sound good...w/o rhymin... i love to rhyme...sometimes its just hard to find the right words though! XDD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dillon Posted March 10, 2007 Share Posted March 10, 2007 Its more about rhythm then rhyme. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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