Lydia Trebond Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily). <img src="https://images.neopets.com/nt/ntimages/396_cup_makesomenoise.gif" alt="Just an average day at the cup" style="float:left;margin:5px;" /> Here at the Daily Neopets we are all anxiously awaiting the results of the first day. The drastic change of rules from last year has left every single team debating over who won! This has led to a delay in results, and even though the teams should be resting up for tomorrow’s big game, everyone is still out there hotly debating the rules. Though most matches seemed to have a clear winner, fans, coaches, and even the supposed winning team are arguing about the fairness of the rules and how they were refereed. The fans have been the most rowdy though, with a heated fight breaking out between the fans of the reigning champs Lost Desert and Roo Island who faced off on the first day. Multiple punches were thrown before a ref told them they would be thrown out if they didn’t settle down! They did eventually settle down, eagerly watching to see what the final outcome would be. To help with the wait, we have someone reporting from the Colosseum from Haunted Woods versus Moltara where there seems to be a disagreement on a winning goal. Motz can you fill us in? "Erm, hello there, can you- Oh, okay! I’ve got you! Hello, Yooyuball fans! This is Motz, on location at the Haunted Woods – Moltara game. I’m waiting patiently for the game results alongside eager and anxious fans. It’s been a close match, and the final score has yet to be determined. The energy here is intense; ghosts, ghouls, and zombies have been rousing a cacophony of sound from their section. Not to be discouraged, the Moltarans have been deafening as well, cheering on their beloved team. For all of those unable to tune in, here’s a summary of the match so far: In the first half of the game, Haunted Woods pulled ahead almost immediately. Captain Vitor led the charge, scoring goals left and right, leaving the Moltaran defense in the dust. It looked to be a certain game, almost completely in HW’s favor. But, right before the clock reached halfway, HW defender “Brains” Mortigan slammed into Moltara forward, Kisner. The move injured the Acara striker’s arm, potentially leaving her out of the game. <img src="https://images.neopets.com/altador/altadorcup/2011/teams/moltara_2.gif" alt="Tulah Kisner" style="float:left;margin:5px;" /> Rather than discourage the Moltaran team, the incident seemed to egg them on! Kisner returned after a surprisingly brief respite, and the team caught up, neck and neck with HW. After a whirlwind second half, the teams were at a draw. With just seconds on the clock,forward Zo Junior shot what would be the winning goal, when the Yooyu struck the net post, and then netminder Gollog. The referee called a foul, while a Rule Committee member in attendance disagreed. Leaving us where we are now, on the edge of our seats, stewing in anticipation. Wait, what is this? It seems the ref and Committee member have come to an agreement! It appears that the victor is... Haunted Woods! The HW section has just exploded with excitement, and the Moltarans are shuffling out of the stadium as quick as they can. It’s getting a little loud, and - oh, set me down, please! No, I don’t want- I don’t want a piggy back ride!" [static] Thanks for the update Motz! We’ll uh... send someone out to retrieve you shortly. Well there we have it, folks, first match results go to the Haunted Woods! They ended up completely sweeping Moltara. With one game down, we’re still waiting on the rest of the results though they seem to be trickling in slowly. The next result to come in is the Darigan Citadel versus Faerieland, and no surprises there with Darigan Citadel coming out on top in everything but Slushie Slinger! Despite the increased support for Faerieland after the very successful plot late last year, they were out of their league. Fans of Lost Desert will be pleased to know the winner’s curse has not completely affected them - winning out over Roo Island in Slushie Slinger and Make Some Noise - however Roo Island dominated in Shootout Showdown and Yooyuball. Kredulor pulled ahead as the overall winner, but Maraqua gave them a run for their money in Shootout Showdown and Make Some Noise, bringing the score to a tie. This may be the push Maraqua needs to bring them into the top 3 this year. Another close match determined by referees, Meridell walked away with a win in Make Some Noise, a tie in Slushie Slinger, and disappointment in Yooyuball and Shootout Showdown which went to Tyrannia. The chillers caught the ninjas off guard when Terror Mountain swept Shenkuu completely under the rug. Shenkuu was doing poorly from the beginning and just never got their feet under them. Maybe they’ll do better next time against warmer opponents! In a surprising last minute run, Altador was able to pull ahead in Slushie Slinger though Krawk Island was able to dominate in the other three sports. This is a bright outlook for the host team of the Altador Cup who, historically, has done fairly poorly. A close match for Brightvale, they were neck in neck with Mystery Island the whole game, being able to pull ahead at the last minute in all but Yooyuball which ended in a tie. Kiko Lake was able to completely dominate in the first game against Virtupets - Slushie Slinger - but their momentum did not hold through to Yooyuball, Make Some Noise, and Shootout Showdown which undeniably went to Virtupets. That’s it for today folks, come back tomorrow for the results then! [silence] Should we go get Motz? [indistinct] What do you mean no? [indistinct] I think we - [indistinct] what do you mean my mic is still -- [bEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keladry Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 This is hilarious! I hope there are more reports like this coming with the rest of the tournament. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest disciple_fan_1 Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Kredulor pulled ahead as the overall winner, but Maraqua gave them a run for their money in Shootout Showdown and Make Some Noise, bringing the score to a tie. This may be the push Maraqua needs to bring them into the top 3 this year. Haha. 2 loses + 2 ties = Push for 3rd place. It's like Fox News talking about Sarah Palin :P. jkjk. For the most part, good article. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Person335 Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Aw dang it. I was so sure we'd win something yesterday... Meh, no matter. We'll sweep Shenkuu this day to make up for it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
voteforpedro333 Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Curse? What curse? We're just not early starters is all. Krawk's gonna have it coming to them, we certainly don't like to lose twice in a row. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lydia Trebond Posted June 2, 2011 Author Share Posted June 2, 2011 Haha. 2 loses + 2 ties = Push for 3rd place. It's like Fox News talking about Sarah Palin :P. jkjk. For the most part, good article. I never said this was supposed to make sense. Did you not see the post where I said I was running on sugar and caffeine when writing it? (will do better next time :P ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts