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Struggling


Rose_682

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Despite doing everything I can to avoid days like the last few, I've had a real tough time lately. My pain levels are really high lately, and I'm having troubles controlling the pain. The pain meds I am on are ok in terms of side effects, except for making me less able to eat properly, and less capable of dealing with every-day problems, without being snappish. But on the other hand, the pain itself makes me snappish because I hurt.

 

I'm kind of at a catch-22, and I don't know which is the better option. It's been a really tough week.

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Thanks. And yeah. It's been tough. Some days I just wish I could cut off my legs, and make the pain go away. But in my rational mind, I know that's not possible. I also know that amputees experience phantom pain... Which I consider must be worse, because pain meds cannot affect it.

 

My surgeon is not due back from Afghanistan until March some time. I pray every day that he is in no danger, and that he makes it back safely. The surgery he wants to do has risks, like all surgery, but seeing as I have nothing really to lose on my one leg, it's a surgery worth trying. It's scary, but it's probably worth it.

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Well, it's a really long story, if you want the whole thing, but the short end of it (and the main reason for my current level of pain) is my left knee. It dislocated between 5 and 6 months ago, and it has not healed properly. It still spasms, cramps, seizes up, and hurts. I can't even walk properly right now. And like I said, my knee surgeon is in Afghanistan until mid-March.

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oh gosh, i hope you get better soon! one of my favorite cousins had the exact same thing happen to him, and he also deals with the pain on a daily basis. i know how hard it has to be--just hang in there! will be praying for both you and your surg *sends hugs*

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