Batman Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 I was wondering if the lovely forums could help give some feedback on my application for a pet. The app is on /~narutonumber this petpage. I am pretty happy with it but just want to hear your thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divya Bean Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 Woah! That was an amazing app! I love your story. The only thing is in the beginning you say, "I dont really need your Krawk for any other reason that I have bonded with him." I dont think you should say that you dont need the Krawk. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batman Posted November 12, 2010 Author Share Posted November 12, 2010 Good point. I just didn't want it to sound like I just want it for an avatar. Either way i have taken it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divya Bean Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 It is good that you pointed it out, but just make sure that it doesnt sound like you are bragging. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rae Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 Wow I'm so impressed by that app! I would apply for pets but I have NO talent even remotely close to yours! But I agree, don't say you don't need the Krawk. If you're worried about the owner assuming you just want the Krawk for the avatar you could just say "I don't want the Krawk just for the avatar. I want the Krawk for A, B, and C" you know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batman Posted November 12, 2010 Author Share Posted November 12, 2010 It is good that you pointed it out, but just make sure that it doesnt sound like you are bragging. ;) I don't think it sounds like i am bragging any more right? Just a sentence saying I already have it that's all... I am thinking if i have some free time soon I may try and draw a picture... That could be scary. haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divya Bean Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 I don't think it sounds like i am bragging any more right? Just a sentence saying I already have it that's all... I am thinking if i have some free time soon I may try and draw a picture... That could be scary. haha. Nope, now it is perfect. :) You didnt draw the picture already there? Good luck drawing one! Krawks can be difficult to draw if you go into way detail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batman Posted November 12, 2010 Author Share Posted November 12, 2010 No i didn't that was a layout i found. I have a cool picture in mind it just will take forever. I can totally see me not getting it done at all but I think it would be super cute to add to the petpage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divya Bean Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 Ahhhh. That layout is perfect. And I think you could draw it if you put your mind to it! A detailed picture would make your app irresistible! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sakurabelle Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 That is an adorable story! My only comments are: 1) You wrote supper instead of super in the last about me paragraph. 2) Your tense switches from past to present then back to past in the story. (Not sure if you did that intentionally or not.) But otherwise it looks great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batman Posted November 13, 2010 Author Share Posted November 13, 2010 Thanks fixed the supper , super problem... I always seem to have a problem with switching my tenses... I don't overly know if i want to change it at this point. I think i will end up doing it but I don't feel like doing that right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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