antiaircraft Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 <p>Disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily). Hello again readers! This is AA here, and we seem to have gotten our communications problems fixed, so I'm back on the broadcast for today's report. Anyway, it's time for yet another Altador Cup match round up, and this time we've got plenty of decisive- *CRRR!* *BZZT!* *FSHHHH!* "*SCREEEEEEECH* *click* What’s crackalackin’?! We are in the second round of the Cup and I’m here live! It’s Noog with all the covering you are liking but now showing up on your interwebs on Yooyutube! Yes, I finally got my website up for everyone to see how awesome I am. I’m here with all the action; let’s get this show on the road! The uh, Fossils, and the Wizards, went at it today. They are both in the middle of the standing thingies I have here, and in my notes it says that Brightvale used to be at the top. That’s weird, they’re all the way down at thirteen now. Anyways, the Fossils got a surprise win by drawing Yooyuball and sweeping the side games. Where is someone that looks…rocky. You look rocky, where are you from? "I’m Mor, I play for Moltara." Oh, wrong kind of rock. What about you, you look prehistoric, are you from Tyrannia? "Yes." Ah great, what do you think about your win today? "I got traded to Terror Mountain last year, I don’t play for Tyrannia anymore." DARN IT! Okay, let’s just get this fan who is wearing a Tyrannia shirt. What do you think? "I’m glad that we could pull a win. We usually do good, and I’m always slinging slushies all day, but when you can get results in the whole scoreboard, it just gives you a certain confidence to do it all over again the next day." Thanks! Tyrannia sure rocked their world. This is cool. The Natives and the Mummies played today, which is a rematch of an upset when the Natives sacrificed the Mummies at Techo Mountain. Their bandages were like *wooooooo spshhhhh crack*and the Mummies haven’t done so hot since. They brought the heat today though, and got revenge on the Natives in everything but Shootout Showdown. I tried talking to some big monkey about it but his only comment was, "Get away!" I’m not sure what that has to do with the results. <img src="https://images.neopets.com/altador/altadorcup/head_shots/altador_1.gif" style="float:left;margin:5px"> A surprise today was with the Suns and the Kikos. They both haven’t been doing too good, but they had to battle for dominance in the bottom tier. The Kikos were the first team to draw to the Magmas yesterday and couldn’t take the heat again today with no wins at all. I was going to talk to the captain for the Suns but he looks a bit occupied with celebrating and it’s looking kinda scary to get close to him. "WOOO! YES WE DID IT WE WON!!!!!!" Bouncing to the next match, the Chillers proved to be no match for the Roos. The Chillers froze under pressure and only won Shootout Showdown. They are looking really sad, but there is a big group of Chillers celebrating over slushies for the undefeated streak. I can probably use a slushie too right about now, Mmmmmm, OH NO BRAINFREEZE. My head hurts so badly. Ouch..now while my head…ow….settles down…ouch..I have a quick results recap of the Moons and the Faeries, as well as the OH MY SLOTH THIS HURTS. Like I was saying, I also have results from the Minions and the Magmas. The Minions and Moons both got sweeps which put the Faeries back to the bottom with the Magmas considering Altador’s sweep today. Under the Sea, darling it’s better down where it’s wetter take it from meee! *cough* Sorry, under the sea the Mermaids, or Piranhas sometimes, faced off with the Ninjas who have been called "this year’s Maraqua". If they are, then they didn’t do a good job of showing it. The Ninjas avoided a sweep from the Piranhas with a draw in Slushie Slinger. One of the Ninjas commented, "It was unbelievable, I thought I saw Elon in two places at once, but he can’t know any of our jutsus." <img src="https://images.neopets.com/altador/altadorcup/teams/2008/virtupets_0.gif" style="float:right;margin:5px">In ye olde Knight news, they faced off against the Robots of the future. The Robots pulled off a good win with only a draw in Slushie Slinger and a loss in Make Some Noise. I asked one of the Robots how he thought they won today and he said, "Simple. Teamwork and advanced technology decades ahead of medieval armor." I see, Domo Arigato Mister Roboto. "I don’t have Japanese translation software." Last was the Pirates who faced off against the Zombies. The Zombies had some nice results since the end of the first round, but they couldn’t get much going today. The Pirates won Shootout Showdown, Make Some Noise, and drew in Yooyuball. The Pirates were lucky that they know how to protect themselves against Zombies. This is something that is very important, I’m in the Neopian Zombie Apocalypse Association. Here’s my member card it OH NO THE ZOMBIES! THEY FIGURED ME OUT! I UNDERESTIMATED THEM NOOOOOOOOO......*click*" *POP!* -therefore we- *ZZZT!* *BRAPP!* -be having a space-bound battle between the rising stars of early round one, Team Virtupets, and the Kreludor Moons, who have only recently recovered their first place ranking with some strong assassin-style showings. Teams Faerieland and Moltara will also be crossing guards for the second time this season. Both teams are still ranked seventeenth and eighteenth respectively, and desperately need some of those rare decisive wins to escape from the bottom-table sinkhole. Roo Island and Maraqua will also be jumping on the chance to leap into the first tier, so their respective opponents, the Brightvale Wizards and the Mystery Island Natives, probably won't have the easiest of days. Well, that's it for this report. This is AA, reporting from Altador, signing off!</p> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
:)Doc Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 Yes good job Maraqua :laughingsmiley: Now if we could only pass Roo Island and Meridell, we could make it into Tier 1. :worried: And just for the heck of it... YAAAAAAAAAAY IM THE FIRST TO COMMENT!!!!! :woot: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blurrz Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 Bouncing to the next match, the Chillers proved to be no match for the Roos. The Chillers froze under pressure and only won Shootout Showdown. They are looking really sad, but there is a big group of Chillers celebrating over slushies for the undefeated streak. I can probably use a slushie too right about now, Mmmmmm, OH NO BRAINFREEZE. My head hurts so badly. Nah, not really. RI was our hardest ShoSho opposition to date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyler. Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 you just had to comment on the 2 Elons :P We had a lot of spirited talk on the SKoreboard around midnight, I actually cried :P oh, and Noog, you're reports are hilarious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noog Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 Nah, not really. RI was our hardest ShoSho opposition to date. where's the usual enthusiasm? :D I think you're running out of rhymes XD —————————————— Thanks Tyler :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blurrz Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 where's the usual enthusiasm? :D I think you're running out of rhymes XD You'll no longer chuckle when the Snowager eats Link's buckle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mireia Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 Yes! Fear our roar! :laughingsmiley: The first round was only a warming round, now you'll what our Dino's power is like! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j_l_e_s_t Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 Wow....... Krawk Island was a pretty good game. Graet game ya'll!Today it's a reapeat of the ACI finals........I'm gonna be sick... :sick01: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tempdisplay Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 Wow Noog. Great report! Not too over-the-top ;) We nearly swept! We nearly swept! :D RI and MD need to fall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
voteforpedro333 Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Ouch..now while my head…ow….settles down…ouch..I have a quick results recap of the Moons and the Faeries, as well as the OH MY SLOTH THIS HURTS. That was epic genius right there. I can't stop laughing at that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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