Magmas fight back with a kick! Robots still prevail.

[Noog]

<p>Disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).

 

*beep* *Crshhhhhhhhhh* Is this thing on? Hmm I think so I’m getting interference stupid radio *beep* ooo, It’s making a beat! I could dance to this, who knew that interference could be so awesome? Aww, it stopped.

 

It’s Noog here with your number 1337 source for Altador Cup coverage! Today some more stuff happened. I thought it was interesting and then that other stuff happened. I should probably explain. I’m here in actually, I forgot where I am. Let me pull out my paper and check. Oh no! I spilt my coffee all over it! Let’s see I’m here in Merry Deli, the world’s number one producer of sandwiches and such. YUM! Oh wait folks, I just found my other copy; I’m not in Merry Deli. I’m in Meridell, which has nothing to do with sandwiches. They played the Moons today, which I understand that they’re both doing pretty good. The Knight people won Yooyuball and Slushie Slinger, which moved them ahead of the Moons and puts them in 1...2..3! Third place!

 

 

Are you sure this paper is right? Okay. It seems that the Magmas played the Robots, and the Magmas lost. They won Slushie Slinger and Make Some Noise! This is their second and third win at any game, along with their first two win day. I think they did pretty good, considering the Robots used to be ranked in the top four.

 

I’ve made my way to Moltara. It’s really hot here. Let’s see what this guy has to say. Who are you, and what do you think about what happened today? “I’m Zax Bannet, and I play on the Moltara Yooyuball Team. I’m so happy that we finally got some wins, even if we didn’t get a win in the entire match for the day. Everyone expects us to lose, and hopefully we can keep the momentum going after this.” Congratulations! I would shake your hand but I don’t want to get burned…

 

Then OH MY GOSH it’s Pirates versus Ninjas! I’m a space pirate you know. Well, not until the ship’s fixed. I hate land pirates and ninjas though. Everything is better when you give it a UFO. Hmm, these guys seem to both be top ten though, so I guess I shouldn’t say anything too bad. The Ninjas and Pirates drew, each taking a side game win. I guess we will never know the answer to the age old question, “Dude, Where’s my car?” What? Wrong question? Oh, I mean, “Pirates, or Ninjas?”

 

In the next matchup thingy, we had some Suns, and some Natives of Mystery Island. I wonder what the mystery is? Is it that it’s not really an island? Is it kinda like the mystery meat at school? Is it like that time that my pet rock talked to me? I’m confused. The Natives were hoping for an eclipse, and they got it. The Natives managed to sweep them. The mystery of the island is mad gaming skill.

 

<img src="https://images.neopets.com/altador/altadorcup/head_shots/hauntedwoods_3.gif" style="float:right;margin:5px;">Next we had the Wizards and the Zombies. The Wizards were doing good, but now they’re like, not doing so good. And the Zombies weren’t doing so good, but now they’re like...doing good. The Zombies kept doing good, and they almost swept the Wizards, with an exception of Slushie Slinger, where they drew. Maybe I can draw with them. I draw a pretty good stick figure.

 

Today we had a couple of neighbors play each other from the north. They were the Fossils and the Chillers, who’ve both been doing pretty sweet in their side games. Yooyuball hasn’t been so good though. They both haven’t won many. The ending result was a draw in Yooyuball, but Tyrannia won with two side games. The Chillers keep their undefeated Shootout Showdown record though, which must be from lots of Snowbeast Snackrifice!

 

Bouncing to the next one, there were the Roos and the Mermaids. When the day started, it was on <i>like Donkey Kong</i>. This meant a lot to them because they’re trying to get up to the top, but they can’t get up there without pushing the other one out of the way. This reminds me of that time that I was at the food store, and it was me, and a Mutant Jubjub. We both wanted that cheese so I kicked him out of the way and took what was rightfully mine! No one steals my cheese. Anyways, they both want the cheese. When the eh….bubbles settled, it was a complete draw! They drew in both Yooyuball and Slushie Slinger, but they each got one of the remaining side games.

 

Last we had some matchups with the Minions and the Kikos, as well as the Mummies and the Faeries. The Minions and Mummies were each able to get sweeps today, which keeps their domination of the leaderboards. The Mummies stayed in first and the Minions moved past the Moons who lost today into second place! The first round isn't over yet, and anything can still happen.

 

Tomorrow is full of more fun matchups! In the highlights, we have the rising Magmas and the falling Wizards, the Minions and the Mermaids, the Mummies and the Knights, as well as the Kikos and the Suns! Looks like that’s all for today’s matchups. Woo, another day is gone! I think my grammar classes are helping out...wh-*Crsshhhhhh* *Beep*

 

 

I’m sorry; we’ve been having more trouble with the radio frequency. We will try to get this fixed. That reporter didn’t do too badly today compared to his other days. Before we let you all go, we here at TDN would like to remind you that today is the first day of the Staff Tournament, and you can start making your Round 1 predictions today! Good Luck everyone!</p>

[Person335]

Ha! What I tell you?

I knew Moltara would shine soon enough! You just needed to wait for the volcano to erupt!

[j_l_e_s_t]

YAY! noog is back!You rock noog! Anyways, I'm suprised that HW nearly sweeped Brightvale. I wonder how we'll do against MQ and TY.

[-Ryan]

Good, this is just what we needed to raise morale after our pretty much loss in my opinion to FL. Now we can ride this newfound energy straight through Maraqua and Shenkuu. Watch out mermaids, da Minions are in yur underwater caverns, stealin yur YYB wins.

[antiaircraft]

You and your space pirates Noog. :P Epic as always!

[CAV of Gang Green]

Watch out mermaids, da Minions are in yur underwater caverns, stealin yur YYB wins.

 

Are you CS? Are you? Or is your mind so twisted because I smacked you with the Trout of Justice multiple times that you think you're stealing wins, when in reality, you're on the floor dizzy and confused?

 

Seriously, we're gonna kick you're butts.

[-Ryan]

I'd wait for the results CAV. Only 3 teams have ben able to handle us, and one of them still lost due to minigames, so what makes you think you can take on the Purple and black storm?

[:)Doc]

Dang... well I guess Maraqua and Roo Island are pretty evenly matched teams, eh? :mellow:

 

But now let's bring on the Piranha mode for Darigan Citadel!! :evil:

[-Ryan]

You know, we nearly swept Roo and you just drew with them. Just saying, that's gotta be a scary thought. ;)

 

 

Btw, VP, c'mon, you can't underestimate these smaller teams. Day one, anyone? FL beating KI in SS, anyone? BV sweeping DC, anyone?

[tempdisplay]

Oh God. It's like you're trying too hard. But very informative report :yes: And I can't believe it was a complete draw. I mean if we won SS, DWDL, it'd be a Win as SS is worth more. I guess it's because it was a school day, I couldn't get in as much games as I would have wanted.

[Noog]

Has anyone else noticed that it is also Pirates vs. Ninjas in the first Round of the Staff Tourney? :P

 

Thanks for the feedback everyone!

[Tyler.]

your reports are great :laughingsmiley:

I guess we will never know the answer to the age old question, “Dude, Where’s my car?” What? Wrong question? Oh, I mean, “Pirates, or Ninjas?”

that was hilarious

anyway, I'm just happy we at least drew

[voteforpedro333]

Looks like a lot of top tier would-bes are playing other hopefuls these final two days of RR One. Meridell and Virtupets, here we come a'blazin'!

 

*coughgomaraquacough*