Secrets Behind "Popular Kids"

[tempdisplay]

I think that I've uncovered it. The secret simply is, us. We make "Popular Kids" popular. We give them attention, make them feel better than us by talking about them, feeling threatened by them and so. You see I've experienced this. I started a bit of a loner, got some close friends, one of them started going out with the prettiest girl in the year, and suddenly we're part of her clique and the "Popular Kids". (Any guy she goes out with and his friends are part of this clique.)

 

Now I hear people talking behind my back, some other friends saying to my face that I shouldn't hang out with my friends because "they think they're sikk" When they don't. Now with people saying this it's going to make us "think we're sikk" and me all snobbish and hatting the others which is what I'm feeling right now. They keep going up to my friend who's dating the girl and saying this which I find annoying and he must find it even more annoying. Goodness me. 

 

Thanks :) (It was nice to let steam out xD)

[Cassie]

I believe that to a certain extent. You can be popular if you have the confidence to become so. You rarely see a popular person who isn't confident. It's the confidence to be seen and heard by others, no matter what the situation that leads us to give them the attention, because they look for it.

[Kex]

I think people tend to think about it backwards. Confidence is certainly a very important trait, but people aren't born with it. You cultivate confidence by doing things that make you feel good, and doing things well. You can't expect to just summon up confidence for nothing, although guidance counselors seem to think that you should be able to just have confidence before you do anything with yourself.

 

I am NOT saying that popular people are better. Far from it. What I AM saying is that truly confident people don't care if they're popular, and they usually have something they do that has value to them. People preoccupied with being popular just for popularity's sake aren't truly confident and are probably not truly happy(though they can fake it pretty well). If they were, they wouldn't care how many people liked them, one because pointless popularity is vapid and two because they would have real, lasting friendships, not just groups of gossipy lackeys.

 

...I'm kind of rambling and preaching to the choir here, I know. XD It's stuff I wish I could go back in time and tell my 12-year-old self, though.

 

Quick edit: I realize that just because a person has honest confidence doesn't mean they're automatically a friendly, nice, good person. XD Lord no. I know there are a LOT of confident people who are... well, fill in your own rude word here. 8D;

[Unstream]

You guys make it sound like popularity is a bad thing xP.

 

I mean, the way some people achieve it may be bad, the way they bring themselves up by putting others down, but some people become popular because they're really nice. Others just because they know how to talk to people. I mean, believe it or not, talk to a popular kid and odds are they'll be really nice, as long as you can talk comfortably with them.

And I mean a truly popular kid. Not the jerk that everyone secretly hates behind their back.

 

Confidence is key to popularity too, but it's not always something you cultivate yourself. Sometimes, confidence is built up when you're young, by parents, siblings, friends, or maybe even teachers.

[Kex]

And I mean a truly popular kid. Not the jerk that everyone secretly hates behind their back.

 

That was more what I'm talking about. Everyone is popular in the right circles. XD Most of my friends weren't popular in high school, but they sure as heck are now. It all depends on how you define it(and I have to say, being liked by a lot of people is very nice XD it's just not healthy to make being liked your goal).

[SkyTurtle]

In high school, I was something of a loner (gee, some things never change....) but I was on good terms with at least one person from every group. Confidence does play a role in popularity, but it is not everything. Perhaps part of it is having/being something that others want. I have seen people flock to the ones with money or power...because they either wanted to be rich/powerful personally, or wanted to be seen as being such. This could also explain why some folks despise the popular crowd-- this is the feeling of "I could never be as pretty/smart/happy as so-and-so."

 

I did that for a long time-- one girl in my class was my Ideal. If only I could play sports like J, was as thin and pretty, as J, got as good grades, I was sure I'd be happy. The thing is, I knew J pretty well. I knew she was one of the nicest, most genuine people around. But an awful lot of people hated her just because she was popular. I frequently heard stuff like "Look at J, got her nose in the air..." from people who didn't know her. Granted, she was a bit intimidating...but she was never one to lord it over people. Folks like J are popular because they draw admirers.

 

On the other hand, some of the popular kids are just plain nasty...and stay popular because they are willing to be backbiting and cruel. Another classmate of mine was one of those-- she'd do anything it took to make sure she stayed Queen of the world.

 

I guess the two types of popular kids can be summed up in something from the book "A Little Princess" contrasting Lavinia, who had been the most popular girl in the school with Sara, the heroine.

 

"Lavinia, in fact, was spiteful. She was inordinately jealous of Sara. Until the new pupil's arrival, she had felt herself the leader in the school. She had led because she was capable of making herself extremely disagreeable if the others did not follow her... but as time went on it became apparent that Sara was a leader, too, and not because she could make herself disagreeable, but because she never did."

[Sapphy the Swamp Witch]

Lol, I've now got the words popular, confident and nice stuck in my head. xD

 

My definition of popular? Someone who has the most friends and has admirers.

 

Yeah some people can be popular and be horrible about it...there's one girl in my grade who became popular because she's nasty to some people and constantly breaks the rules, so the ones she's nice to think she's cool, and in this way she acquired a whole load of friends.

 

On the other hand, there are many people I know that are nice to pretty much everyone, even if they can be a little bit annoying sometimes, and that's how they got all their friends.

 

Of course, popular be summed up in another way too. In my first few weeks at secondary school this year, I was joining a community that already knew each other, so I was a bit 'popular' at the time since everyone was so interested in this new girl. Lol.

[wolfen]

Humans are by nature a social animal, we form groups of individuals that we are comfortable with, share traits with or need. A person that belongs to a large group or many smaller ones can be considered popular.

 

There are many traits that people are keyed to when in a social encounter and those are not all verbal or in body language, many of them are in our own head. Many people can sense when a person is 'real' instead of just a good actor, though good speaking skills and confidence translate well to others also.

 

It is my opionion that popularity is over rated and a person must find things that they care about, things that make them happy or people that they like to be around.

[Midookami]

I've never been popular and I've never cared, since I had small circle of very close friends and that's all that really mattered to me. I guess popularity is important to a lot of people, though, and the few really popular kids that I became friends with... I could see why they would be popular. They're sweet, caring and really easy to talk to. They would just come up to you and say hi, and start talking about that horrid history teacher or something. I admire that kind of extroverted, cheerful personality, but I don't think anyone should feel spiteful or force themselves into faking that kind of personality. I think your own happiness and acceptance of yourself is the most important thing in the end.

 

Kids who are jerks and are "popular" are not really happy and satisfied with themselves. I feel sorry for those people. :P

[Awesome_Paul]

Being popular is down to one thing: Confidence.

 

People, who has confidence can go up to total strangers, no matter where and when. You could be out in town, in a pub or even at school.

You just go up to total strangers (people you're age mainly) and just try to start a conversation and have fun. Thats pratically what my mate and I do, we go out in the evening to have fun, and meet new people.

[Antjie]

there are different kinds of popular and confidence are not always the key word in my opinion. you can also have a popular person because he/she are always nice and helpful, but that person can also be very shy but dependable.

 

On the other hand... Bonny and Clyde was popular too, but for all the wrong reasons

[cmannequin]

i have a friend (yes my friend [whose name i wont say] not me -...-x) thats so paranoid abut being popular sometimes i get a newspaper roll it p and whack her with it -___-. Shes so scared about what people think of her that she wont go out with the guy she likes (he likes her back) because shes scared about what people are going to say about her. (they went out for 2 years took a break for a year and now like each other again.) no matter what i say shes still paranoid >[

[Nad]

Idk if I was considered a popular kid but I definitely did get along with everyone since I did band, sports, academics, clubs (I did a lot in hs...idk how I survived, but I did). I had many little circles, though I did have a main little circle who I spent the most time with even if we were all different (but we got along very well, which is what matters most). I think popularity is nothing. I mean, being popular is just a thing that isn't real...you can't take hold of it physically in your hands. But popularity happens I guess when someone isn't afraid of getting out of their main circle and not afraid to talk to others. Exposure onto others makes sure others know about you, whether it be a good thing or not. I think being known for something helps with popularity. Confidence always helps. I guess what helped me in hs was not really caring what others thought about myself and just be me, even though I didn't like wearing a dress during a football game for Homecoming (I was a bit sad I couldn't wear my band uniform and be all warm). xP

[whethalar]

Um, in Singapore here, the popular clique concept isn't that prominent. There are some people who are more of a social butterfly while others may have smaller circles, but there isn't any badmouthing or snobbery or hating. Which is why I'm enjoying school life here :D Everybody has their own circles and group of friends. And everybody is full of confidence, albeit some more than others. But there's no such thing as bullying in my school, but perhaps there are instances in other schools.

 

Perhaps it's due to the school environment.

[hannibala]

Well I'm not from US but I did go to an american school and I think it was nothing like a real US high school because bullies didn'te exist, everyone is in their own circle but they dont bother the others or make fun or chitchat about the others...(not sounding or being racist here) but there were for example 5 japanese guys in the class and they always hang out together, then partly the americans on another circle, and the spanish(im spanish) on another circle, but no one talked bad about the other's life. I for example, knew everyone and talked to everyone and I had no problem with it, and I was one of the most popular in the class...because i got along with everyone and also because i'd been in that school from 5th grade to 12th grade...and was on the baseball team, on the soccer and volleyball team.so yeah i knew everyone. But ok my question is, are US high school in reality like they portray them in movies, like mean girls? because what im saying is that at least in my school nothing like that happened. I was popular but people didnt care about it they werent afrais to talk to you or come up to you and ask you something or whatever...and i talked to everyone also. then, there was no bullying or doing mean stuff to the nerds or to the new students..etc.Then, also things like prom and those stuff which are huge and everyone really freaks and goes crazy about...in us is it like boys have to ask you out or if not you're not cool enough to go to prom? well in my school it wasn't like that...non one really cares if you had been asked or not, everyone goes happily to the prom, in their limousine with their friends...and we all dance together at the party and after party. I personally had been asked by this guy that liked me since i entered the school in 5th grade adn i said no because i had already made plans about going wth my girlfriends..but also the thing we didnt do was the king/queen. which could have been fun but oh well who cares...

[celticheavens]

Um, in Singapore here, the popular clique concept isn't that prominent. There are some people who are more of a social butterfly while others may have smaller circles, but there isn't any badmouthing or snobbery or hating. Which is why I'm enjoying school life here :D Everybody has their own circles and group of friends. And everybody is full of confidence, albeit some more than others. But there's no such thing as bullying in my school, but perhaps there are instances in other schools.

 

Perhaps it's due to the school environment.

I wouldn't say that 'the popular clique concept isn't that prominent' (in Singapore). It is rather 'prominent' in certain schools. But I do agree that the school environment contributes to it's so called importance to the students. It is quite a problem even in elite schools in which certain cliques shun those whom they deem 'uncool', some even taking it to another level through verbal insults etc. I don't deny that some of the members of these cliques exude a certain confidence level most of us can only dream of attaining, but at times that is overshadowed by their scornful attitudes towards others. Perhaps it's me, but that's my own observation after a long time in the education system. I do have to say however that it has not exacerbated to the level of that of 'typical US highschools' portrayed by Hollywood. Thankfully.

 

One can always rebut to say that 'popularity' is not only reserved for those who are in the popular extra cirricular activities; those blessed with stunning looks; those rolling in mountains of cash. True enough, there are some who are popular because they are witty, friendly, helpful, kind, and the list goes on (and they may or may not be more confident than most). Sadly, I do not see many of these cases although it is indeed a refreshing change from your typical 'it' girls and boys.

 

There's no one secret to being 'popular' I believe. It's the whole package that appeals to the rest of the student masses, and that determines one's popularity.

 

Hope I didn't sound too negative XD.

[AhMunnaEatChoo10]

Ah,In my school,{in my class anyways} the most popular are usually the most confident.they seem quite confident to me.I'm not in that group.I usually keep to myself.The thing is,I hate some of the popular kids.Two of them tried to lower my grade on a project.-_- They succeeded.I know one popular-ish kid from our class.She's a teacher's pet.I'm quite sure of it.I checked her profile on FaceBook.her profile picture was of her with two of our other teachers.I know some kids who aren't really popular that hates her as well.I also know one popular kid who used to hate her,but now they seem that they're the best of friends.What happened?!?!I've heard the "teacher's pet" say she hated that student.And i've heard that that certain student hates the teacher's pet as well,because the teacher's pet got to the position of Patrol leader in Scouting.And you know what?The teacher's pet doesn't lead anything.

 

To me,popularity isn't really important.It can possibly even lower your grade.I think so because the student with the best grades in the class got bumped to number 2..At the time,the former best student was really close to the other popular kids..Perhaps he goofed off a little bit? I don't really know...

[tempdisplay]

Woah, I thought this board was dead for a bit. Update is they're no more a couple as of Wednesday? And I'll update you to see how dynamics in school will change when school restarts in the new year. Another thing is that it's like the Girl has left us for another group :(

 

^_^

[Stephé]

Well Blue, where I live we have a wide variety of 'stereotypes', but that doesn't really stop us from talking and saying 'hi'.

I had a best friend in Primary school, however we parted when we entered Intermediate school. She left to the 'so-called cool crowd' and I stayed a nerd, you could say. :P We are still friends, only we just exchange a 'hi' at school. I don't think of her as the friend who turned her back on me, just the friend who I used to hang out with at Primary. :)

That's when change comes in, things will never be the same. There are times that just come and go. You shouldn't really be focusing on the stereotype, popularity is just a 'category' that your mind has been adjusted to.

 

Let this just be a phase, we have our moments when we're at school, but when it all comes down to it, just 'be yourself' as people say. ;)

 

Popularity isn't everything (I would think that it was nothing). I don't even think anyone in our school would have a definite answer to who was popular. There's virtues and traits that we can describe people, but just not this word.

I'll be entering a new environment next year- college (or high school as others call it). I'm sure this'll be the biggest change socially, so I'll be sure to keep my mind open. ^^

 

Sorry if I didn't make sense or anything, just sharing some random thoughts and ideas. xD

 

Perhaps it's due to the school environment.

^ True.

[imxsorryxixam]

Its all about.

money

looks

who your friends with

and who you are dating.

simple as that

[amyclae]

I think there are different kinds of "popular kids," but I've experienced at least one way that people make themselves popular. I knew this girl a couple years back who ingratiated herself with people by dissing other people. It's kind of a depressing reflection on people that this method actually works, but it totally does. See, what the girl did was diss people in such a way as to make herself seem like she knew what she was talking about... like dissing their clothes or whatever because they weren't "fashionable," or saying stuff like, "I feel bad, but what's-her-name is so annoying."

 

By doing this, she made the people who she was nice to feel special, because she clearly wasn't nice to everyone. Obviously, she was real pretty and fashionable and fun to be around, when you were on her good list. Everyone just wanted to feel special and be on her good list, so she ended up with a lot of people catering to her and a lot of people liking her. People are weird.

[CAV of Gang Green]

I believe you are right. The only reason that people are popular is because we make them.

 

There's this guy at school, he always sticks his nose in someone elses bussness, treats everyone like crap (that includes girls that STILL follow him around like he's a gangster), and people still adore him. I'm tired of this, and almost started a fight with him. I promise to kick his a**. Then we'll see weither or not I'm popular. And if I do, then these people in my school are very shallow, because I'm the silent kid in my school.

[cuidenalosninos]

I think the idea of popularity is a marketing prop, personaly. Popularity is sold through television, commercials, films as this asspiration of children and teenagers everywhere. So children and teenagers everywhere aspire to be popular. And the only version of a 'popular kid' which is shown through mass media is one which fits the catagory of whatever products are being sold, in this case 'style'. A popular kid is expected to be stylish and like popular music and popular trends, so people try to reflect this image by buying popular fashion, and listening to popular radio stations, watching shows, etc...

'popular kids' is another effective way marketing companies, advertisers and producers have strongly segregated a gamble free target audience.

:yes:

But this same idea is applied to most 'sub cultures'. Particularly through highschool aged children.

Hurray for new media and cultural studies!!!

[tempdisplay]

*Hopes post isn't too late* Just a final update. Boy and Girl are no more, people don't think the Boy "thinks he's sikk" anymore. The girl who never saw herself as "Popular"---, ok maybe she did, but didn't flaunt it at others, she's a really lovely person, ---isn't made such a fuss about anymore. Maybe it's because she's with a guy in another year.

 

But, I totally did not see this coming. The Boy and Girls best friends, which we can call Guy and Gal, who were together from the start and are still together, are like the Power Couple now. Even though people don't take notice of them, the way Guy and Gal act says it all. Guy has sort of gotten really big headed, which I don't like, him being my friend and all, I can't talk to him about it. And Gal who is like the shortest person the the whole year group ^_^ Just flirts around, grabbing people on her side or whatever, it's hard to explain.

 

Boy is cool and back to normal now, him being single and no one envying him anymore. I need to get more chummy with Girl though. We're friends but we drifting after their break-up, I guess you'll always be on your Pal's side more. Anyway, that's all I guess. Wish you could see what I mean with all this. It's all quite hilarious :laughingsmiley:

[RohanX]

well, like me im popular, but im not really the mean type like, snobby, talking behind others backs, and just gossiping and being just mean and cruel to others. well, i just call those kind of people at my school jerks, but im popular as in there are tons of people that are friends with me and im just not one of those people that are mean to other people because i have seen some people expierienced that kind of stuff with the mean popular people. im just saying that you should just avoid them, not talk to them, and dont let them pull you into their wrath. if you know what i mean