Everything you ever wanted to know about the kreludorian mining corp.

[The Original Luna]

Hello there, my name is Cougaretta; I’m your tour-guide for your journey around the Kreludorian mines. Now before we enter the mines, our little rule is leave nothing but paw-prints, take nothing but photos. Now keep close, I’ve just got to enter the password into the identification recogniser console.

*enters code into console*

*Seven heavily guarded metallic doors opens and lasers appear*

*Cougaretta walks to the side and pushes a large button with her paw. The Lasers switch off*

Now follow me, as you can see the mines were used prevalently in the early years of Kreludor’s colonization by Neopets. As you can see, it has now been abandoned because of unsafe construction in the supports. Now it unused as you can see by the rust on the miners’ equipment.

*pauses as several Neopets take photos of the equipment*

Now, if you’ll follow me, you’ll see some of the best examples of Stalagmites and Stalactites on Kreludor.

*Neopets stop taking photos and follow Cougaretta*

*As they walk down the path, a loud rumbling noise makes the earth shake and dust is shaken loose*

*“What was that?†asks a green Blumaroo*

*Cougaretta brushes dust off of herself*

That was an earth-tremor; they get more frequent and more dangerous as you go deeper underground. Now if, you’ll look to your left, you’ll see the finest examples of Stalagmites and Stalactites. When the mine was first used, the miners used dynamite to blow up the Stalagmites and Stalactites to get to the calcium inside them. The calcium could then be used for tablets or battledome armour, and there have been some accounts of calcium being made into dresses for fancy dress parties. Now does anyone know the difference between a Stalagmite and Stalactite?

*no-one answers*

Well the difference is that a stalagmite is made by calcium growing up from the floor; you could remember this by the G in stalagmite, which could stand for ground, growing up or grass, because grass grows on the ground. You could also remember that stalactites grow down from the roof. And you could remember this by the C in stalactite, which could stand for Ceiling, clouds or cirrus petpets.

Now as we approach the end of the tour, I must take a head-count before we enter the next cavern.

*counts everyone.*

Yes, everyone’s here! So onward to the Time cavern.

*Cougaretta leads them past a large boulder then shows them the cavern*

This is where the earliest findings of Neopian colonization of Kreludor first began. Here we have rebuilt the time that Aldrin Buzz first stepped on Kreludor with Amstran Noil, which was broadcasted in year 4 on Neopian news.

*lead past a robotic version of the moon-landing, which over-repeats “One small leap for Neopia, One giant leap for Neo-kind.â€*

*Cougaretta leads them past some robotic versions of tyrannian grundos in houses. Some take photos*

If you’ll look up to the ceiling you’ll find some magnificent forms of stalagmites and stalactites.

*crowd oohs and ahhs*

Now I’m leading you back up to the front entrance, where you’ll be picked up by the inter-stellar coaches back to Neopia.

*crowd goes back to coaches*

*shuts up the locks, rays come on again and Cougaretta speaks into the screen message to a dark face*

Master, I have done well.

[Lutarist Jake]

Nice, witty and a good piece of writing.