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Fiery Magma Offensive Takes Ninjas By Surprise


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A bright and merry day to all of our excellent viewers! This is Brooke with The Daily Neopets, and it would appear our wonderful technical crew has found some lightbulbs for our overhead fixtures, giving our jobs somewhat... brighter prospects. The bulbs they bought are rather unusual, however; they seem to randomly change colours whenever the mood strikes them. I guess it keeps life interesting!

Let's get on with the Alabriss bracket. Here's hoping I get through the results before the lights turn the same colour as my notes, rendering them completely unreadable!

Liek oh em gee look at her butt fins The Alabriss bracket got off to a rather dusty start with some sweeps! The shutouts began with the match between Maraqua and the Haunted Woods. The matches were very close, only one point apart each, but in the end the Zombies were drowned beneath the sea of the Mermaids' efforts. The roars from the fans were as deafening as the crashing waves as the Mermaids claimed their third sweep of the year. The Zombies, no strangers to heartbreak this season, still managed to slap convincing smiles on their faces as they shook hands with the victors post-match.

The next sweep of the bracket was significantly less of a surprise, as top-tier Tyrannia took the field with low-flying Faerieland. The Faeries fought bravely, and nearly matched the Fossils in Yooyuball, but were ultimately trampled under the heavy-hitting might of Tyrannia's finest. The Fossils have managed an impressive ten shutouts so far, while the Faeries have been somewhat less successful. But Faerieland's loyal fans will not be discouraged!

This is totally the face i make when i slither The third match of the bracket was the only to not end in a sweep. The Knights and the Rooligans butted heads in a fierce series of events. Meridell managed to squeeze in a win in Yooyuball, with just a point between the scores. Roo Island, however, slammed them with a side-sweep with their ssuperior ssslushie-sssslinging, ssssscreaming and sssssshouting, and ssssssshoot-out sssssssshow-downing!!!

Erm... sorry about that. I had coffee with that charming Layton Vickles today and it would appear he's had something of an effect on my speech. That and I got excited. Again, sorry about- ACK!

[The lighting in the studio has turned to a very vivid green.]

WHAT is happening in this gif Oh, this just won't do. I look absolutely terrible in green. I'd best be going. Midtime, would you please take it from here?

[The camera pans to Midtime as Brooke hurries out.]

Absolutely, Brooke. I must say, for my part, that these kinds of lighting problems do not appear to be uncommon. Just last evening while I was outside, I saw the entire sky turn a vivid reddish-orange colour...

At any rate, no amount of inconsistent sunlight was sufficient to prevent the Minitheus bracket games from being played today, and the games have been entertaining indeed.

The Kikos have done it again: with their complete victory of the day, over Krawk Island this time, the number of teams that they have not swept decreases again by one. Although many have come to regard a match against Kiko Lake as decided long before the whistle blows, the Pirates fought as hard as ever to see success. When team captain Garven Hale was asked whether he felt the results of the match had spurred on the Pirates to better their play, he emphatically responded: "We're always spurred on. We've never been gunning for anything less than first place: that never changes."

standard shootout showdown image Team Brightvale had a somewhat closer game of Yooyuball against the Suns, edging out their score by means of an effective stalling defence. While penalty shots and slushie sales also went their way, the crowd reserved most of their cheers for the Suns' aggressive tackles and daring trick shots, which outshone the Wizards' more cautious tactics in terms of spectacle, though they may not have paid off in the end. For committed Wizard supporters, this marks the third day of consecutive wins for their team; the sentiment is prominent that Brightvale is on its way upwards at last.

The Mummies, one of the Cup's significant powerhouses, stormed the court against the Robots, earning another row of mint-green marks for their record. Despite having fallen relatively in the leaderboards, Team Lost Desert have not lost heart: their performance remains consistently excellent, and supporter morale is high. As one fan I interviewed exclaimed, 'I don't support the Mummies! Are you assuming that I support them because I am painted Desert? Please stop asking me questions. Look for someone else. Stop following me.'

That concludes the Minitheus bracket! It's been a pleasure. I will now pass you over to Matt, who is, most excitingly, reporting live from the field. Here you go, Matt! Don't drop the audience; they are chemically volatile.

[Cut to an expansive view of one of the main Cup stadiums.]

tall and bored lenny Yes, thank you, Midtime! Hello, everybody, this is Matt reporting to you from one of many Altador Cup stadiums! I spent most of my "day off" yesterday at our department head's office constantly pestering them to allow me to venture off into the field, and it paid off! Now I'll be able to report the results from the Vaeolus Bracket live in the field, a definite change of scenery from that boring, dimly-lit studio. Anyways, let's move on to the results. There were a variety of results today, ranging from the expected sweeps to the underdog upsets. Let's get started!

The Moons continued their winning ways in today's matchup against Mystery Island as they were able to sweep the Natives. Although the Natives rallied together in an effort to take Yooyuball, in the end, the strength of the Moons were overwhelming. Up against the Magmas, the Moons will be looking forward to a repeat performance.

*singing* HISSS HEAD IS ON FIARRRRR On the subject of Moltara, the Magmas and the Ninjas went head to head today, and the Magmas shocked spectators today as they were able to defeat the Ninjas in Yooyuball. However, their victories didn't stop on the field as the Magmas were also able to take Slushie Slinger and Make Some Noise from the Ninjas! The Ninjas were able to salvage today's matchup by drawing in Shootout Showdown, preventing what would have been the Magmas' first sweep of the Cup. The Magmas were finally able to obtain their first Yooyuball victory, and with Kreludor as their opponents for today, the Magmas will need to double their efforts if they wish to have a repeat performance. Our staff were able to ask Moltara Team Captain Aldric Beign a quick question regarding their matchup against Kreludor today. Beign stated that, "Our team will ride the momentum from this victory and carry it on with us to our match against the Moons. They're a tough team, and we will need every little advantage we can get." Look forward to the results tomorrow!

Darigan Citadel Right Forward Tandrak Shaye Moving on to our last matchup of the Vaeolus Bracket, Darigan Citadel and Terror Mountain clashed heads today. While both teams were evenly matched, the Chillers were able to obtain the overall victory in today's matchup. A last minute push in Yooyuball by Darigan Citadel Right Forward Tandrak Shaye evened the game, and ultimately caused the game to end in a tie. However, Terror Mountain's fans were anything but disappointed as they upheld their reputation of being one of the loudest teams in this Cup by taking the victory in Make Some Noise. Although the Minions have one of the largest fan bases in this Cup, the Chillers were able to drown out the Minions with their cheers. The Minions were able to save face as they took Slushie Slinger, but the Chillers dominated Shootout Showdown taking the overall victory.

For our matches to watch, underdogs Faerieland and Haunted woods will be facing each other today. Although the Faeries were swept by the Fossils, they managed to win in Yooyuball and Slushie Slinger against the Rooligans a few days before. Will the Faeries be able to have a repeat performance or will the Zombies prevent the Faeries from gaining any more momentum? Find out in tomorrow's report!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have many sights to see and many places to be! I think I'll visit the slushie tents first, don't worry Brooke and Midtime, I'll be sure to bring back some slushies. If I ever head back to the studio that is. Anyways, this is Matt signing off.

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Obligatory disclaimer: This news report was written to inform you all of the latest Altador Cup results in as entertaining a manner as possible. The rest of its content is largely fictional, composed from various fan comments and the whims of our imagination in an attempt to inspire a sense of realism through our reporting. While we do our best to keep things reasonably neutral, this report is in no way intended to be a completely bias-free listing of the day's results, nor does it claim to provide critical analysis of past and potential outcomes from qualified Altador Cup experts. Please note that the opinions formulated in this report are from a full team of different reporters, and in no way represent the views of only a single faction. If you're looking for 100% unbiased performance data, take a look at our standings page. If professional analysis tickles your fancy, you want our predictions pages (global/daily).
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